Last year was a complete blur. So many changes and a loss so huge that we find it hard to speak about. I keep thinking back to the holidays of 2016 and I can’t remember how we celebrated. So this is Christmas…
I don’t remember wrapping or opening gifts. I can’t picture a Christmas tree or decorations. I’m unsure if it has to do with losing Harold, but I’ve heard when people go through traumatic events our brains have a way of protecting us. I’ll never forget what happened, or our time spent together, but for some reason I’ve let go of the immediate holidays following.
Bob says it’s the same for him, although I think we’re beginning to heal, even if our hearts will always be a little broken.
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So this is Christmas…
Learning that we’re still allowed to be happy for joyous occasions is part of the healing process. We see that laughter doesn’t mean you miss loved ones any less. Perhaps it actually gives even more meaning to the lives of those who are gone. Knowing that, after the tears, we still have a memory that brings a warm smile…and, occasionally a great big belly-laugh.
Now we have a few resort seasons under our belts and after being under renovations for nearly 3 years we’re finally able to decorate for Christmas. Our tree was stuck in storage for so long that half the lights weren’t working but after adding 700 more I think it’s shining like the brightest star.
Yes, it’s a fake tree and yes, I keep saying how much I want a real one. Not to mention how much better they actually are for the environment. But, we heat our home with a wood fireplace. It’s so cozy and warm and nothing beats it. But it’s so dry that the needles might last a week on that real tree and all we’d have left is a few bare branches by the time Christmas rolled around.
Sigh…in the meantime, I’ll keep spraying my fake tree with this stuff and pretend she’s as fresh as a cut balsam found down a winding wintery trail.
The tree before all those lights were added:
Don’t you just love pulling ornaments out? Memories come flooding in, warmth embraces and all is right in the world. With my favorite candle glowing and Christmas tunes playing, I feel like I’m in the middle of a Hallmark movie marathon.
Speaking of movies…Bob might possibly be turning into Clark Griswold, he’s just itching to add more to our décor. I can’t say I mind much except when it comes time to put everything away…
I can’t get over how cool these pictures make the lights look on our tree with these manual camera settings I found at Overstuffed Life. They create the perfect twinkling glow. I’ve been experimenting more and more lately and find that using the creative side of my brain is so rewarding.
Are you trying any new traditions for Christmas? Any great plans for ringing in the new year?